Before God got a hold of me, I remember having all this added pressure to make the “right” choices and be a “good” person while still trying to find my identity in the group of friends that I surrounded myself with. I was bound to this world and everything it stands for: people pleasing, quick-fix relationships, partying, and so on.
I had a hunger, but it wasn’t channeled correctly. I found myself trying to produce righteousness on my own. I was so focused on making good decisions that I was actually missing the point of grace. God’s grace will set you free, but this freedom isn’t the justification to do whatever you want, but in doing what you need to do.
And through that revelation God awakened me. God’s way of getting a hold of me was through removing people that I was bound to. I couldn’t understand why friendships were ending and relationships weren’t happening, but I needed to be alone; without the wrong friends, and away from the poor intimate relationships to realize that only God could fill me where I felt empty. Only He could produce that righteousness in me.
Righteousness has nothing to do with people, but everything to do with God. Isaiah 32:17 tells us that, “the fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.” And that is what was placed in me that day-peace. When God changes you, he deposits peace in your heart. A peace that can only be found in God and never in this world.